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Older, More Reserved Andrew W.K. Releases Album About Small Gatherings

NEW YORK — Serial party animal Andrew W.K. shocked fans with his new acoustic album “Let’s Get This Get Together Over by Nine” which showed a more reserved and mature side of the musician, sources with beer can shaped dents on their forehead confirmed.

“Partying has been and always will be a state of mind,” stated the relaxed frontman as he gently sniffed a wine cork to make sure the tannins were properly activated. “Sure, you can jump off the roof into the pool with all your clothes on, eat pizza for days, or shred a blistering solo on a taco guitar that looks like a taco, but I get the same exact thrill from playing charades with my neighbors, setting up a charcuterie board, and even talking at length about ‘The Paris Apartment’ at the weekly book club. I’m 43 now, and while my tastes have changed, you better bet your gosh-darned rear end that we’re gonna have a good time no matter the occasion.”

Longtime fan of the party rocker, Brian Deemer, doesn’t approve and thinks W.K. is selling out in a way he won’t be able to recover from.

“It’s just fucking pathetic,” said Deemer, also 43. “The Andrew W.K. that I know would not only get a party started, he’d let everybody know that we’re gonna party till we puke! I want to know the last time he spent $1,800 on KFC and beer, I bet it was before Obama was President. He’s gone soft, and I’ll never forgive him. I got a peek at his all-white touring outfit, and you know what the tag said? Nordstroms! Unbelievable.”

Local party expert Bruce Miller weighed in on W.K’s older and wiser countenance.

“If you want to live past your 40s, then you have to slow down. You don’t want to be the guy headbutting holes in the drywall while you’re collecting Social Security payment, it looks sad,” said Miller, sipping a Bahama Mama Clubtails from an antique snifter. “We’re all marching toward death one way or another. Some people like to burn that candle from both ends and die out in a blaze of glory, but my friend Andrew has found peace in taking the scenic route.”

At press time, W.K. was spotted pricing tablecloths at Homegoods for an upcoming scrabble “rager” at his mom’s house