LOS ANGELES — Director and grizzled high school shop teacher look-alike Mel Gibson announced this week that his next project, “The Truth,” will be a feature-length documentary and sequel to the police footage of his 2006 DUI arrest, sources confirmed.
“Daddy’s been released from woke jail, and he’s brought his camera and director’s chair with him,” said Gibson, grinning like he’d just heard a racial slur. “I apologized for my comments about Jews being responsible for every war in history, and I almost meant every word of it. Anyway, the feature will explore the origin of cancel culture, which clearly started on July 28, 2006 when I got arrested for my first of seven or eight DUIs. Not to mention I will be personally calling out a number of other ethnoreligious groups immediately after consuming 15 straight beers. This is going to be a must-see film.”
Fans of Gibson’s work are excited about the prospect of a sequel to the infamous video.
“I’m fucking pumped about it. The one thing lacking in the ‘Lethal Weapon’ franchise is the Martin Riggs character going off on rabbis,” said longtime fan James Tucker. “The original clip was way too short and ended abruptly. My boy Mel could go any number of ways in the sequel. The possibilities are endless. For instance, will there be a love interest, like Helen Hunt? Will he discuss the actual death toll of the Holocaust alongside his sidekick, Danny Glover? Or could he expose all the child-killing and blood-drinking at the Thunderdome? Do your research—all the evidence is on X and The Right Stuff.”
Film industry analyst Jackie Addison discussed the excellent timing of Gibson’s announcement.
“The American public cannot get enough sequels and reboots, so anyone who’s anyone is trying to make one,” explained Addison, sighing heavily. “Hollywood is just a buffet of milquetoast sequel slop, and all social media platforms are teeming with virulent racism and anti-semitism. Yet, they’re both part of the cultural zeitgeist right now because Americans are uniquely talented at acting against their own best interests, especially American men. It was only a matter of time before we found a new way to torture ourselves by combining the two. It’s only fitting that Gibson is doing it, considering his most popular movie is Christian torture porn.”
At press time, Gibson also announced that he’s partnering with Nick Fuentes and his production company, Triple Bracket Studios, to release the film.