BROOKLYN — Self-proclaimed Led Zeppelin expert Gil Costa cited local insufferable Tolkien aficionado Brian Turner yesterday as a major influence on Costa’s Zeppelin-themed social media posts and unprovoked anecdotes, fatigued sources confirmed.
“Yeah, I might be able to shoehorn a Zeppelin trivia tidbit into a conversation, but watching Turner work is like watching a ballet,” said Costa, shortly after editing Jimmy Page’s Wikipedia page to include the “Favorite Game Show” category. “I once saw him turn a conversation about parenting into his summation of the Akallabêth section of The Silmarillion. It went on for six hours. The guy is a master.”
According to mutual acquaintances, both men reportedly have obscure quotes tattooed on their forearms, “jump down people’s throats” for the most minor of inaccuracies, and “throw tantrums” when anyone in pop-culture claims to be a fan.
“Gil really is just a mirror of Brian, but in shorter, more digestible offerings,” said friend Damien Cale. “When my mom died, [Costa] posted lyrics from Zeppelin’s ‘In My Time of Dying’ on my Facebook wall… but Brian went a lot further and read a long excerpt from Farmer Giles of Ham at her funeral, which really went nowhere. Nobody asked him to do that, but nobody had the nerve to stop him, either.”
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Meanwhile, Turner himself has noticed how much of his work is reflected in Costa’s.
“I feel a lot like Radagast — also known as Aiwendil, who Manwë sent as an emissary to Middle-Earth to help man against Sauron,” said Turner. “Or, maybe I’m more like Pallando the Blue. No — you know what? I am like Glorfindel… who you probably don’t know because he wasn’t in the movies.”
Costa has, however, expressed interest in exploring other bands.
“I really want to evolve my style,” Costa said. “I’m thinking I should get really into Queens of the Stone Age or Kings of Leon, so I don’t come off as a gimmick. Or maybe move onto books, and get really into the Earthsea series.”
Upon hearing that Costa might abandon his Zeppelin obsession for something new, Turner called it a “…bigger betrayal than Celegorm’s betrayal of Finrod.”