DELRAY, Mich. — Leading Juggalo scientists confirmed fascinating new research which indicates that “whoop whoop” has numerous meanings including “hello,” “goodbye,” and “show me your butthole,” according to sources who found out the hard way.
“Wake your bitch asses up, we’ve got some big news, y’all,” stated lead scientist Alice E. Jensen from the prestigious Milenko Institute for Higher Learnin ‘n Shizzle. “After many Faygo-fuelled months studying focus groups, we’ve determined that this dope phrase was more versatile than we ever thought. We hypothesized that it could be both a greeting and farewell but discovered it was also the de facto way of politely asking to see each other’s cornholes. This is a very exciting development for the evolution of our language, so all you mutha fucking chickens can suck our clown wangs. Whoop fuckity-whoop!”
Jessica Lamb, a normie who recently attended The Gathering of the Juggalos for the first time, shared her experience with the culture.
“I’m still traumatized,” quivered a still visibly shaken Lamb. “My Juggalo cousin Phil convinced me to join his crew down at their annual Gathering in Ohio. I thought the makeup and clothes were kind of unique so I figured it could be fun, especially with that hilarious catchphrase they’re always yelling. But what they failed to mention was that numerous people responded to my light-hearted ‘whoop whoop’ by dropping their JNCOs and instantly spreading their cheeks. I thought I was on some kind of disgusting prank show or something, but apparently not. I don’t speak to Phil anymore.”
Linguistic expert Joseph Chartwell explained that it’s not uncommon for groups to communicate with a secret language.
“It’s all elementary,” said Chartwell. “Many communities have coded language that some people may not know about. The most popular example would be ‘Aloha,’ which can mean ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye,’ but can also be used for love, peace, and compassion. Law enforcement’s use of ‘10-4’ commonly means ‘ok,’ but also translates to ‘hurry, plant the evidence,’ and ‘if you squeal, you’re a dead man.’ Language is an amazing gift to society, except when an innocuous phrase results in unsolicited, indecent exposure. Not to mention it’s just plain nasty.”
At press time, the scientists released further findings which state this phrase may be much older than believed, after a local ninja claimed to unearth an ancient pictograph in a Michigan cave depicting a primitive Hatchet Man lifting his loincloth and exposing his prehistoric “fart box.”