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Jon Stewart Returns to “The Daily Show’ After Seeing How Soft Media Has Gotten on George W. Bush

NEW YORK — Comedy Central announced that Jon Stewart is returning to host  “The Daily Show” on Mondays citing what he believes to be “A shameful failure (by major networks) to criticize the nepotism and warmonger puppeteering” of former president George W. Bush.

“You turn on the news today and it’s all these vapid, empty-calorie stories about celebrities like Donald Trump. Why are we even spending time talking about that guy? There is virtually no mention of George W. Bush, our government’s failure to find evidence of WMDs in Iraq, or Dick Cheney’s attempts to subvert limitations on the executive branch,” said Stewart while listening to a first-generation iPod. “It’s gutless and it’s irresponsible, so yeah, I’m back and nobody is safe. I hope you’re listening Colin Powell.”

The overall response to Stewart’s part-time return to hosting duties on “The Daily Show” has been immediately ecstatic.

“Finally, after nine long years, we’ll have a media personality unafraid to speak truth to power. People are so wrapped up in the 2024 election right now that they seem to forget George W. got us involved in an illegal war that lasted nearly a decade. And no matter where I look I can’t find anyone willing to lampoon him with a funny turn of phrase and zany look to camera,” said longtime fan Andy Selgian. “We’re talking about a man who once butchered the phrase ‘Fool me once,’ and all of a sudden we’re just giving him a pass? Mr. Stewart, welcome back, we’ve missed you.”

While Stewart’s return comes as a surprise to fans, professional media analysts see the move as highly logical.

“The networks are in crisis right now trying to draw in viewers who prefer to get their news from TikTok,” explained media expert Sarah Yang. “They realized the best way to make inroads with youth culture is by bringing back a 61-year-old man to a cable channel most young people never watch unless they are doing laundry at their parent’s house and end up watching reruns of ‘South Park.’”

Though none of the other talent from the Stewart era have officially announced a return, insiders have leaked that Mo Rocca is in talks with the network to become the show’s senior Hurricane Katrina correspondent.