NEW YORK — Popular internet dog Muppet announced early yesterday afternoon that his cutest content will be going behind a paywall via the website OnlyFans.com, according to a recent statement.
“Listen up you little cuddle piggies,” said the nine-month-old half-lab/half-pit bull “good boy” with over 500k followers on Instagram. “I know what I got and I know what it’s worth. If you want to keep enjoying all of my hot, tail wagging, ball chasing, so-cute-it-turns-your-day-around action, go to my new OnlyFans and smash that ‘subscribe’ button.”
The move has caused a rift in the young pup’s fanbase, with many accusing Muppet of “selling out.”
“I love Muppet, like love love love that dog I’m OBSESSED, but knowing he’s panting and wagging just for money ruins it for me,” said Instagram follower and “top fan” badge holder on YouTube, Rich Wakatsuki. “Frankly I find his practice of allowing only his hot subscribers to come rub his belly for ‘content’ is amoral and off-putting. I remember when this page meant something. Sorry, but I’m unfollowing. Whore.”
While naysayers have been extremely vocal, some of Muppet’s more loyal fans have embraced the move.
“It makes me feel more connected to Muppet knowing I’m supporting his furry ass,” says fan Martha Belview. “As far as I’m concerned my membership paid for itself the second my DM of ‘Whose a good boy?’ was marked ‘Read.’ And his page features photos and videos of explicit, hardcore adorableness. I love seeing Muppet doing tricks for Snausages, trotting around in cute outfits, and even playing with other popular dogs for $9.99 per month. Get that bag, king.”
At press time, Muppet posted a teaser on Instagram of himself and a bulldog wearing matching sailor hats, captioned, “Had a hot time with Mr. Peanut Butter! Subscribe to my OF if you wanna see these two thicc good boys get down to sniffin.”