GAZA CITY, Palestine — Israeli Defense Force First Sergeant Yosef Shochet admitted that he is suffering from terrible nightmares portraying happy, active children playing in the streets of Gaza following the announcement of a ceasefire, sources close to the soldier confirmed.
“When I close my eyes at night I hear the sounds of their childish laughter and it makes me physically ill. Their joy is nothing short of evil, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are Hamas command centers inside all of these kids,” said Sergeant Shochet while clutching his rifle. “Some people say they count sheep to fall asleep, but the only thing that works for me is counting bombs falling from the sky. I picture them leveling schools and hospitals and it gives me a brief respite of inner peace. But eventually, the negative images creep back in. I wake up in a cold sweat thinking about these kids playing soccer with a deflated ball outside of where their house used to be.”
Gaza resident Hasan Arafa says he feels no sympathy for any IDF soldier claiming to suffer from any form of PTSD.
“It’s a miracle I’m still alive. I’ve watched my wife and mother die in my arms and I haven’t had a real meal in almost a year. I’ve been drinking contaminated water and most days I actually pray for death, so no, I don’t feel bad that a war criminal is having a tough time coping with not killing children,” said Arafa while helping clear debris from a recently bombed aid center. “When I look around I see nothing but death and destruction, when I close my eyes I see nothing but death and destruction. It is true torture, I just hope it ends soon.”
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu says all IDF soldiers will have unlimited access to mental health resources free of charge thanks to money from the United States.
“We know this potential ceasefire will be tough on our military recruits. We are already developing lifelike dolls that look like Palestinian women and children for our soldiers to shoot, stab, and whatever else brings them some sense of normalcy,” said Netanyahu. “Also, I want to remind everyone that this ceasefire probably won’t stop us from dropping bombs. Nothing will stop us. We can do whatever we want and face no consequences because our allies abroad let us.”
At press time, soldiers having the hardest time dealing with the ceasefire were reassigned to the West Bank to help with the illegal seizure of land for Israeli settlers.