So, you got got. It’s okay, it happens to the best of us, and it’s all part of the game! Rug pulls by dishonest internet celebrities are just one of the risks we have to take to stay on the cutting edge of society. Unfortunately some people, such as your wife, may not see things that way. When she comes at you with unfair accusations like “you ruined my life” and hurtful personal attacks such as “you are the dumbest person to ever walk the earth and I’m embarrassed to be seen around you,” just remember these helpful tips:
First, make sure she understands that you only had the best intentions. Good intentions are famously so valuable you can even pave roads with them! All you wanted to do was give Treighden a little more padding for a comfortable college career. What’s wrong with that?
Now, though you already have a solid argument, this probably won’t work all on its own. Try appealing to her sense of financial logic next. Hawk Tuah is a huge hit, how could the cryptocurrency based on it not have been a moneymaker? She’d have probably done the same thing, if only she’d been paying attention. She has a 401k through her work after all, that’s basically crypto if you think about it.
This segues perfectly into the next tip: ask your wife what she’s been doing to grow the college fund. College is expensive, and your boy deserves the highest quality education money can buy. How could she have expected made-up things like “incremental saving” and “a trust fund” to cut it? Investment has always been where the real money is. Remind her about all the smart investing you did in GameStop, and the Cybertruck you were able to buy because of it. Why didn’t she care enough about your son to seek out her own investment opportunities? For claiming to care so much about his future, she’s really been ignoring the future of currency.
If none of this has worked, which is unlikely, it’s time to bring out old faithful: begging. Hands and knees, full-on sobbing, the whole deal. You know the drill by now. She can’t leave you, you only wanted what’s best for this family. She’s tearing this family apart, all because of one silly little mistake on your part. You’ll make it all back! Your startup is going to take off this year for sure!
With these pointers, you should be able to salvage your marriage at the mere cost of your dignity. And if you can’t, hey, at least you’ve got more than enough Dogecoin to pay for the divorce!