SILVER SPRING, Md. – Local Boomer Glen Thais created a disturbance at the insurance firm where he is employed after sending an unsolicited dick fax to a longtime coworker, sources who didn’t even know they had one of those machines in the office confirmed.
“I just needed to send this lady a picture of my johnson, and couldn’t think of a better way. I was going to make a PDF of it and send it by email, but I don’t know how to do that nor do I want to learn,” explained the randy 63-year-old. “I knew that this young coworker of mine was going to be interested in seeing what I’m packing, so I took a picture of my meat with my disposable camera and took it to Walmart to be developed. I got the pictures back a few days later and faxed them over. Now I’m just waiting for her to fax me back a picture of her tatas.”
The unexpected phallic fax was not easily understood by the intended recipient.
“At 3 a.m. I get a call from an unrecognized number,” explained 26-year-old Janet Olden. “Normally I don’t pick those up, but I did this time and just heard a bunch of random beeping and blipping. I hung up and went back to sleep. The next day at work the creepy old facilities guy kept standing by my desk asking if I liked what I saw last night. I just saw ‘Napoleon,’ so obviously I said no. This seemed to upset him and he went off crying. Weirdo.”
Although it isn’t the most modern, the fax machine has been a part of a rich history of unsolicited cock sending.
“Most technological advancements were done to better send schlongs,” explained professor of communication history Dr. Darla Koch. “Marconi originally invented the radio so he could broadcast explicit descriptions of his one-eyed weasel to the world. Unfortunately he had the only radio so no one else heard. One of the most frequent telegram messages was ‘—.. -…- -..’ which of course translates to 8=D. The Pony Express was founded to transport explicit daguerreotypes across the country to unexpecting young women. Still to this day, Boomers believe all this was peak technological advancement.”
At press time, Thais had just heard a picture was worth a thousand words and set out to write an essay describing his shaft to unsuspecting women.