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Hip Youth Pastor Doesn’t Believe in God

BOISE, Idaho — Local youth pastor Chase Rexley gained quite a following in his church after revealing that he doesn’t believe in God, sources who didn’t know you could do that confirmed.

“I mean, seriously. Only a total dork would believe in an all-knowing, all-seeing supreme being watching over us at all times,” said Rexley, sitting on a chair backward and toying with the popped collar of his dress shirt. “A big guy in the sky who decides who is a sinner and who isn’t? Not for me. I still love my church though. If not for them, I’d never have these sweet $200 shades I just bought from the Sunglasses Hut in the mall. I guess that free money in the church donation basket goes go to good use after all.”

Attendees of Rexley’s youth group found his beliefs to be refreshing.

“I used to think church was lame,” said young churchgoer Stacy Mailer. “But that was before Pastor Chase taught us that going to church could be cool and also that God doesn’t exist to answer our prayers so our pleas for help and advice go unheard and unheeded. That was also before C-Rex nailed a 360 flip in the church parking lot first try. I’ll believe what anyone says if they can be that smooth on a skateboard.”

Rexley’s superiors at the church initially viewed the surge in popularity with suspicion as believing in God was a big part of their whole thing.

“At first, I was disdainful of the stance,” said lifelong priest Father Thomas Gore. “But then we saw how popular his sermons were and we began to think, ‘hey, maybe not believing in God is the future of the church.’ He’s already convinced three or four nuns that Jesus Christ was just a good dude and not necessarily our Lord and savior. Long story short, we’re going to give some of Pastor Rexley’s ideas a try in our church to see if we can increase attendance. Can’t hurt.”

News of Rexley’s fresh stance has reached as far as the Vatican where the Pope, in an effort to win back believers, clean up the church’s reputation, and increase popularity, has begun worshiping Satan.