ANAHEIM, Calif. – A pair of local hardcore lovebirds announced they reached the Disneyland stage of their relationship after several months of courtship, confirmed sources who already muted the couple on social media.
“I just wanted to make it official”, said Brian Dunnigan while buying a season pass. “We met at This is Hardcore last summer and spent several months talking on Whatsapp. She is so sick, loves all the bands I do and it just makes sense for us to start devoting all of our weekends to the same theme park. Things are going so well right now, I couldn’t think of a better person to eat overpriced churros and wait in line for exclusive Star Wars merch with.”
Dunnigan wasn’t the only one who was hoping this could be the real deal
“I don’t just go to Disneyland with every guy that has a full leg-sleeve of ‘Toy Story’ characters. We played this slow,” said Monica Lee. “Yeah, he had the sickest windmills and we’d stay up late talking about the merits of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, so when he asked me to meet at Disneyland, it was an easy yes. We were facing the other way in our xMinniex and xMickeyx hats when I turned around and he was on his knee to ask me to hard style in front of Cinderella’s castle. I’m just so stoked right now!”
Hardcore culture historian, Phil Best says this is a phenomenon that has some history within the culture.
“There is some debate about how long this ritual has gone on,” said Best. “My research shows it goes back to at least Posi Numbers 2001, although some say it goes back to even the original California Takeover shows. Two hardcore kids, one from Arizona and one from California, met after Carry On’s set and hit it off. After several thousand dollars worth of long-distance phone calls and AIM messages, they felt they should take it to the next level and Disneyland was a place halfway between them they could meet. After that original hard style polaroid, relationships within the scene changed forever.”
At press time, the couple was ejected from the amusement park for moshing to “It’s a Small World Afterall” which resulted in bystanders being spin-kicked in the face.