Press "Enter" to skip to content

George Santos Empathizes With Shooting Victims As Someone Who Died in Columbine

EAST LANSING, Mich. — New York Republican representative George Santos reportedly empathized with the families of the victims of the mass shooting at Michigan State University as someone who himself was killed in the 1999 Columbine shooting.

“Families, I hear you. I understand your pain,” Santos said in a statement today. “When I was shot to death in the gruesome Columbine Massacre, it was just as terrible, if not more. I know what it’s like to lose someone in a senseless killing, as I lost someone very near and dear to my heart all those years ago: myself. It can seem impossible to move on, but I know that years after my funeral, it started to get easier every single day.”

Maria Vasquez, one of the many Long Island residents that voted for Santos, said she was moved by the sympathetic remarks.

“I had no idea that even though he wasn’t in high school nor living in Colorado at the time, he was at Columbine that fateful day. It really shows how tragedy can strike anyone anywhere,” Vasquez said. “And it highlights how little the mainstream media covers horrible events like this. I can’t find his name in any of the news reports or victim lists anywhere. It breaks my heart to think of the police going to his house and informing him that unfortunately, he didn’t make it.”

Critics of the polarizing congressman say this is just another wild claim with no basis in reality.

“Mr. Santos will say anything to say in the news cycle. Last week he claimed the Chinese spy balloon was actually his own personal hot air balloon that he plans on traveling around the world in,” said Owen Allema of the watchdog group The People of Congress. “Before that, he said he spent the weekend in Ukraine fighting off the Russian siege. We are used to politicians lying to us, but usually, it’s about policy or corporate donors, you don’t expect an elected official to lie about winning the first Indy 500 in a car they built themselves.”

At press time, Representative Santos said he would be delivering thoughts and prayers in this national time of need as a close personal friend of God and Jesus Christ.