CHARLESTON, S.C. — Estranged husband and wife lifestyle influencer couple known as “The Wilsons” announced they had reconciled and agreed to stay together for the sake of the algorithm, friends force to help film content confirmed.
“It was a tough three months of soul searching, watching YouTube videos about therapy, and failed attempts at going solo which made me realize that deep down, Stan and I love our brand too much to destroy the favorable algorithm that has us at the top of everyone’s feed. We didn’t spend ten years staging and filming every private and public interaction we’ve had just to throw it all away because he won’t stop DM’ing underage girls,” said Lauren Wilson. “We agreed to give it another go for the sake of monetization, and that we can try to tolerate each other in front of the cameras. At least until most of our followers are in college.”
Friends of the couple voiced their disappointment about the reconciliation.
“I was actually happy when Lauren told me she had enough and I thought I was getting my friend back, but now we have to deal with this bullshit again. My partner and I stopped inviting them over because whenever she wasn’t hauling recording equipment and ring lights into my house, she would complain nonstop about how Stan is too lazy to edit their ‘date’ videos,” said Kelly Jones. “I don’t know how they can keep up this farce. They literally don’t talk to each other unless someone is recording. But I guess since they rely solely on getting free shit companies in order to maintain their lifestyle, SEO comes first.”
Couples counselors have seen an unsettling uptick in influencer couples attempting to reconcile.
“Our priority is to help couples find middle ground and grow together, but any pair with a lifestyle brand that comes into my office is 100% irredeemable. Seriously, I actually encourage them to break up. It’s hard to get to the root of the acrimony when you’ve got people with made up personas arguing over who gets mentioned more in their posts,” said Dr. Miriam Stein. “My advice is always for the couple to get as far away from each other and get real jobs and hobbies without filming every second of their existence. But most importantly, no one gives a crap about their lives.”
Upon their return to social media, Lauren and Stan announced they’d be sending their children to live with their grandparents after being unable to garner sufficient engagement on TikTok.