ORLANDO — Guests at the Disney theme wedding of Diane Ferraro and James Cunningham were shocked after it was announced during the reception that the marriage would immediately be annulled Disney style, the bride’s family confirmed.
“I can’t believe we spent thousands to rent out Cinderella’s castle and get the legacy characters to officiate the wedding just to find out my husband has been a secret Potterhead this whole time. Our life together has been a sham from the start and I want a full blown Disney annulment,” said Ferraro. “My lawyer is on his way dressed as Captain Hook, and then I’m going to make my husband’s entire family watch as I have the Seven Dwarves curb stomp the marriage license. And if that lying bastard still wants to get wedding photos on Space Mountain, he can go in the single rider line.”
The actors hired to be part of the wedding attempted to cheer everyone up in light of the marriage dissolution.
“Gawrsh, I couldn’t imagine my pals and I would be gettin’ these folks married just to see them cancel the whole darn thing a few hours later, but that’s the way it goes. Good thing I can be a witness to get Miss Diane’s nasty nuptials nixed at the onsite jail’s courthouse,” said Goofy, whose real name was not given so as not to break the immersion. “Lying to your bride, boy some people ain’t got no class! But we’ll turn her frown upside down once the judge says this marriage is invalid, ah-hyuk.”
Divorce attorneys noted that a surprising number of character-themed weddings result in corresponding dissolutions.
“Whenever my colleagues and I see adults throw a wedding with IP meant for children, we know that representing their split is going to be just as magical. I know it’s a serious moment but there’s something about watching two people dressed as King Triton and Ursula sobbing in court that just rekindles the magic of seeing ‘The Little Mermaid’ for the first time,” said attorney Jocelyn Williams. “Let’s face it, if you threw a Shrek wedding, you’d probably dress up as the characters during the custody hearing to have it all come full circle. Otherwise you’d just look stupid looking back on it.”
Despite the annulment, Ferraro proceeded with the reception and was seen in better spirits being grinded on by the Hunchback of Notre Dame and Donald Duck.
