WASHINGTON — Democratic leadership announced their plans to play the 2013 Katy Perry song “Roar” very loud in response to the aggressive start of President Donald Trump’s second term, confirmed sources rubbing their temples and squinting.
“We spent a lot of time and the majority of our 2025 budget on getting the proper licensing of this track,” said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. “And the most common responses to our polling questions were ‘fucking do something’ and ‘you are useless cowards.’ So obviously the message was clear: we need a new anthem and we need to play it as loud as my three-disc CD player stereo can go. We were pretty much split down the middle between ‘Roar’ and ‘Fireworks.’ But with ‘Roar’ we think the American people will see that we’re committed to starting to think about figuring out how to begin the process of launching an exploratory committee that can get movement on getting a conversation started. These are dark times and the Democratic Party takes the threat of fascism seriously.”
White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt responded to questions about the Democrat plan.
“This is the most offensive thing the Democratic Party has ever done,” said Leavitt. “We all know ‘Roar’ is code for communism. The radical left has now admitted to communism. You heard them. They said it. They said ‘Roar’ would’ve been Karl Marx’s favorite song. Verbatim. We all heard it. Literally every single one of us heard that. And I refuse to work with these people until they apologize for what they’ve done.”
Professor of Political Science at George Washington University Sandra Keller says there can be power in music, just maybe not this particular track.
“Historically, protest songs can actually have a big impact on the political climate, from the songs of the abolition movement to the pro-union songs of the labor movement, to ‘We Shall Overcome’ during the Civil Rights era,” said Professor Keller. “However, usually, the songs are of the moment and have lyrics that apply to the goals of the movement, as opposed to ‘Roar’ which is a 12-year-old song about being a tiger, I think? Not really sure. I’m more of a Carly Rae Jepsen fan.”
At press time, Democratic leadership announced that they would be making an Instagram Reel featuring Gal Gadot singing Perry’s “Roar” to further protest fascism.