TULUM, Mexico — Only 48 hours into her long-awaited vacation, 29-year-old Abigail Mahoney started calculating the number of days until she could return to her one-bedroom apartment in Montclair, New Jersey, baffled sources confirmed.
“It’s the weirdest thing,” said Mahoney from her hotel balcony as she gazed out over the sparkling aquamarine ocean. “I’ve been looking forward to this trip for literal months. But now that I’m here, I want it to be over. There’s a flimsy sliding door that separates the bathroom from the bedroom, so when my boyfriend’s in there I can hear Montezuma’s revenge in fortissimo. Plus I’m sick of having to go to restaurants for every meal. I just want to eat Frosted Flakes on the couch.”
“That’s right, the same couch I languished on every night, wishing I could hit ‘fast-forward’ and be in Mexico,” Mahoney added with a sad shake of her head.
Local observers corroborated Ms. Mahoney’s account that the trip was rapidly losing its luster.
“She seems to be having an ataque de nervios,” said Luis Ramirez, the manager of the luxury resort at which Ms. Mahoney and her boyfriend were staying. “Instead of relaxing by the pool or in the ocean, I see her all day looking at the Montclair Buy Nothing Facebook group on her phone. At first I thought maybe she was not satisfied with the services, but the on-site masseuse told me the señorita asked her for the Spanish translation of ‘ennui.’”
Dr. Caroline Fitzpatrick, a licensed psychologist with a private practice on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, said this phenomenon is common amongst her upper-middle-class clientele.
“For many people, vacation is a helpful daydream: something to look forward to as a mental break from the challenges and drudgeries of daily life. But like all fantasies, once it’s actualized, the person ends up feeling disappointed,” said Fitzpatrick. “Either that or this young woman is just a spoiled, miserable person who will never be happy in the moment for as long as she lives.”
At press time, Mahoney was on the plane back to Newark, already beginning to plan and count down the days till her next vacation.