SACRAMENTO, Calif. – Classically trained stage actor Douglas McNulty is returning to the role of the chainsaw-wielding “Psycho Clown Zombie #3” in the Historic Ardenwood House of Scares hospital-themed room.
“I approach ‘Psycho Clown Zombie’ the same way I would Hamlet or Richard III, not that I’ve ever been fortunate enough to play those roles,” laughed Douglas, stretching his back while thumbing through Uta Hagen’s Respect for Acting. “Every day is a school day, another chance to develop my craft, hone my voice. Who is this Psycho Clown Zombie? Where is the pain located in his body? Sure, I’m severely in debt, but my degree from NYU Tisch was worth it for every night that I stand on that bale of hay and swing a plastic chainsaw at strangers. No one else captures the twisted lunacy of ‘Psycho Clown Zombie’ like I can. I wonder if we’ll get a review!”
Frustrated attendees confirmed McNulty’s commitment.
“We bring the kids every year, and frankly we try to skip the hospital section because that one zombie clown just gets out of hand,” complained real estate agent and mother of four Deborah Kenney. “It also doesn’t make very much sense – he has a chainsaw, in a hospital, and he’s a clown zombie? Everything is way over-enunciated, the movement is way too abstract. It’s basically bad performance art. This is a haunted house for kids, it doesn’t need to be an artistic struggle of the soul. It’s pretentious, ya know? Seeing him warm up in the parking lot, doing neck stretches or making weird shouting noises. This haunted house is constructed in front of a Chili’s and a Staples, maybe just warmup at home.”
Sandy Berkshire, retired teacher and volunteer director of the annual haunted house, voiced concern with Douglas before over his enthusiasm for the role.
“I’ve told him: this isn’t Lincoln Center of the Performing Arts, Dougie. It’s a haunted house, plus we’re gathering money for a public park. He’s out here trying to win a Tony,” Sandy opined during hay-maze construction. “We love Doug. We have him every year. Hell, I taught him, but I’ve talked to him about this before. The only time I ever get complaints is when he starts visiting hospitals in character, dressing up like a psycho clown zombie doctor. That might be fine in our show, but that’s not acceptable out there in the real world. He’s not a doctor! He didn’t go to medical school. This place doesn’t call for someone like Davey Dan-Lewis or what have you, ya know, the tall fella who played George Washington in the movie about his left foot, I can’t remember the title.”
At press time, McNulty was seen preparing for his upcoming role as a corpse in a Civil War reenactment.