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AMC Charging Additional Fee to Not Sit Behind Guy Explaining Entire Movie to His Girlfriend

LEAWOOD, Kan. — Movie theater chain AMC rolled out a new tiered fee system allowing patrons to avoid seats behind cinephile boyfriends commenting on the movie to their girlfriends, relieved sources confirmed.

“We’re very excited about this new initiative. AMC wants to recognize the majority of guests that simply want to enjoy a film without constant comparisons to Christopher Nolan, Quentin Tarantino or Stanley Kubrick,” explained PR representative Chuck Svenson. “Commentary culture should take a backseat to the big screen. Our visitors want to enjoy needle-drops without hearing where else the song has been used, or understanding a stranger’s intimate autobiographical relationship to the song choice.”

“All AMC customers will have this option available upon purchase in our broad rollout, after a soft launch in New York and Los Angeles, where research we conducted in league with popular dating apps shows that ‘Filmsplaining’ is most widespread,” Svenson added.

Frustrated sources re-affirmed the relevance of AMC’s new program.

“It’s like every movie theater has a ‘movie bro’ just talking away these days. Last time I saw a movie there was one guy explaining the cultural relevance of the Nicole Kidman ad,” moviegoer Jess Gunders opined. “It’s not only the endless commentary, they are also so damn loud. I honestly suspect that sometimes they speak louder on purpose, almost hoping others will hear facts that they clearly just read from IMDB Trivia in the bathroom. If I hear one more dude talk about how superhero films are ruining cinema, I’m never leaving my couch again.”

Rory Valdoon, the founder of the Well Actually Initiative, an advocacy group for cinephile boyfriends was quick to criticize AMC for their decision.

“This is prejudice, plain and simple. This is our Rosa Parks bus moment and we’re not backing down,” Mr. Valdoon relayed from his D.C. office while checking local matinee showtimes. “Nobody is standing up for these guys. Since when is loudly predicting plot beats with mouths full of popcorn considered a crime? We are well within our right to guess an actor’s filmography in a rambling fashion, unpack abstract moments in real-time, and make constant comparisons to ‘Heat.’”

In addition to offering the new fee, AMC has announced a Deluxe VIP “Cinephile Boyfriend” Experience. The soundproof domed seating area comes equipped with a “My Hollywood Podcasting Station,” allowing men to share “hot takes” into an unplugged microphone.