Patrick Coyne
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DURHAM, N.C. — Allegedly ill punk Tommy Donnelly has taken to his deathbed, which is also his roommate’s used futon,…
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Steve Esparra
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CHICAGO — Local man Ben Schneebly was heard shouting “I don’t want to be here anymore!” over and over again…
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Joe Rumrill
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LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Leading climate analysts at Purdue University are warning that global warming could cause Weezer’s Blue Album to…
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The Hard Times Staff
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SARASOTA, Fla. — Davey Lincoln, frontman for regionally popular pop-punk band It’s Not a Tumor, claimed a sudden bout of…
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Tyler Roland
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SOUTH KINGSTOWN, R.I. — Ben Bryes, guitarist for local alt-rock band Swiss Army Gun, reportedly switched his instrument while performing…
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Zachary Wolf
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LOS ANGELES – Blink 182’s highly anticipated new album "One More Time" will not feature songs about how Tom Delonge…
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Chris Bowen
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NEW YORK — Local weakling and black metal singer Percy "Blall" Miller of the group Assküm spent the entirety of…
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Sara Božin
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TROLLSTIGEN, Norway — Teenage punks Xavier Martinez and Sydney Black were shocked to discover that the address of a house…
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Robert John Scucci
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NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Gibson Brands Inc. announced plans to debut their new signature line of Flying V Jet Skis at…
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Allegra Ringo
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MANCHESTER, N.H. — Alleged Phish “mega fan” Walter Pratt admitted he has only seen the popular jam band perform live…
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