Charles Bill
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April 25, 2026
STOCKHOLM, Sweden — Leading musical anthropologists announced that they have discovered a previously uncontacted metal genre, confirmed sources. “I was…
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Colleen Nerney
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April 24, 2026
SEATTLE — Local groupie Ellie Winterman made a significant quality-of-life change by deciding to sleep with metal band Former Oracles’…
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Steve Packosky
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April 22, 2026
PROVO, Utah — Local man Adam Kerman was excited to learn that he’s basically the next Elvis Presley if you…
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Steve Packosky
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April 19, 2026
ROCHESTER, Minn. — Researchers at the Mayo Clinic concluded that hearing Blondie’s 1978 hit “One Way or Another” is still…
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BARSTOW, Calif. — Metallica fans across the nation are feeling the pinch of the Trump economy and are having to…
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Ben Friedman
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April 15, 2026
MILWAUKEE, Wis. — Attendees of a local punk show were left confused and disoriented after the venue changed its name,…
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Doug Kolic
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April 12, 2026
YUMA, Ariz. — Local dive bar The Rusty Splinter announced a new program to accept discarded bassists in a more…
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Bobby Korec
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April 11, 2026
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — Local video game protagonist Mega Man gained the ability to rap after defeating Wu-Tang Clan member…
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Ben Friedman
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April 10, 2026
INDIO, Cali. - As the sun broke over the mountains of the Coachella Valley this morning, thousands of first-day festival…
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Sam LiButti
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April 7, 2026
ALBUQUERQUE — Local 12-year-old audiophile Jimmy Johanson reportedly insists that famed accordion virtuoso “Weird Al” Yankovic’s music sounds “warmer” on…
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