Claire Brown
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FILLMORE, Minn. — Researchers confirmed today that crust punk James “Pyrofuck” Polinita is officially the first human completely immune to…
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Keith Buckley
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Legendary childhood diseases Measles and Polio will co-headline an upcoming U.S. tour, thanks entirely to the countless…
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Keith Buckley
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Legendary childhood diseases Measles and Polio will co-headline an upcoming U.S. tour, thanks entirely to the countless…
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Dear Scabby: I just got out of a five-month relationship, but find myself eager to start dating again. Out of…
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Lauren Lavín
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MESA, Ariz. — Aging punk and once-devoted skateboarder Mike Ireland has only now begun to fully comprehend the implied consequences…
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Doug Francisco
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LOS ANGELES — 43-year-old burnout and failure Tom Johnson noted this morning that author Charles Bukowski was 50 years old…
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Ted Pillow
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“It can’t be true,” you say. “There must have been a mix-up or the reporter got the name wrong.” Your…
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Krissy Howard
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LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Democratic Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders reportedly has nearly six gallons of uneaten lentil stew after a local…
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Dan Rice
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FAIRFAX, Va. — The NRA condemned New Zealand today as “hypocrites” for failing to crack down on legendary bladed weapons…
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Dan Rice
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FAIRFAX, Va. — The NRA condemned New Zealand today as “hypocrites” for failing to crack down on legendary bladed weapons…
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