Patrick Coyne
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DES MOINES, Iowa — Former Vice President Joe Biden requested moments ago to perform a “physical challenge” in lieu of…
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Malcolm Whitfield
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ST. LOUIS — Time stood still today for local man Hayden Reed, who publicly identified as a “Democratic Socialist” and…
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Bobby D. Lux
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NEWARK, N.J. — Senator Cory Booker announced he will be suspending his bid for the 2020 presidency which unleashed an…
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Louie Aronowitz
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Toxic fandom is terrible. It’s sad to see wonderful works of art that bring so many people joy overrun with…
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IRVING, Texas — Senior ExxonMobil executive Robert Stone announced today that his company will donate millions of dollars toward rebuilding…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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Listen up, we all know the rules of being straight edge. No tobacco, no drugs, and no alcohol… through your…
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Tom Peters
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TACOMA, Wash. — Members of indie trio Shades of Hemingway surprised “superfan” and sole Patreon subscriber Artie Ravil yesterday by…
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Patrick Coyne
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MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Recently stabbed, profusely bleeding, and chronically uninsured drummer Tommy Rivera is insisting his band add at least…
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Patrick Coyne
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NEW YORK — A large-scale data breach of Tumblr’s current user base compromised the personal information of all 12 horny,…
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Patrick Coyne
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NEWARK, N.J. — Local punk and expert responsibility-avoider Dean Freeman asked his neighbor this morning to throw out all his…
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