Louie Aronowitz
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January 13, 2020
Toxic fandom is terrible. It’s sad to see wonderful works of art that bring so many people joy overrun with…
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IRVING, Texas — Senior ExxonMobil executive Robert Stone announced today that his company will donate millions of dollars toward rebuilding…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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January 13, 2020
Listen up, we all know the rules of being straight edge. No tobacco, no drugs, and no alcohol… through your…
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Tom Peters
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January 12, 2020
TACOMA, Wash. — Members of indie trio Shades of Hemingway surprised “superfan” and sole Patreon subscriber Artie Ravil yesterday by…
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Patrick Coyne
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January 12, 2020
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Recently stabbed, profusely bleeding, and chronically uninsured drummer Tommy Rivera is insisting his band add at least…
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Patrick Coyne
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January 11, 2020
NEW YORK — A large-scale data breach of Tumblr’s current user base compromised the personal information of all 12 horny,…
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Patrick Coyne
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January 10, 2020
NEWARK, N.J. — Local punk and expert responsibility-avoider Dean Freeman asked his neighbor this morning to throw out all his…
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KC Phillips
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January 10, 2020
JANESVILLE, Wis. — An alarming analysis of several of Burger King’s new Impossible Whopper sandwiches has found that the popular…
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Michael De Toffoli
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January 9, 2020
BERKELEY, Calif. — Traveling gutter punk-turned inspirational teacher Marcus “Guru Hoagie” Sanders is directing followers worldwide to treat their bodies…
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Rachel Steele
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January 9, 2020
Over the past few years we've called out, canceled, impeached, and even jailed some of America's most toxic and evil…
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