Rob Ryder
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PORTLAND, Ore. — A mysterious pile of previously unidentified material floating in the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Oregon…
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Miriam Jayaratna
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WASHINGTON — A crowd of onlookers gathered at the entrance of a Safeway supermarket in Columbia Heights in tingling anticipation…
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Nathan Kamal
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EUGENE, Ore. — Arthur “Sweaty” Grant, a punk physical education teacher at Churchill High School, expressed that incoming freshman student…
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Charles Bill
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ARLINGTON, Va. – Army officials at the Pentagon debuted a new, realistic recruitment commercial that portrays a recruit masturbating four…
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Peter Woods
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MINNEAPOLIS — Local man Cecil Clarke admitted that the only contribution he made to his upcoming wedding is researching potential…
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Jeff Bender
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The other day I overheard one of my colleagues say they love teaching because, in the end, they learn as…
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Mike Maher
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MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Members of rockabilly octet Eddie Mercury and the Cougars recently took a paternity test to determine who’s…
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Jessica Lillian
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LOS ANGELES – Ticketing giant Ticketmaster announced they will be tacking on a new “preemptive heatstroke treatment” fee to all…
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Tim Graham
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DETROIT — Punk rock loving octogenarian Edith Bettencourt placed a pan of her fresh, warm crack cocaine on her kitchen…
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Sara Božin
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CHICAGO — Local punk and nonconformist Don Michaelson is reportedly strutting around town showing off an alternative vest that is…
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