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We Sat Down With U2 Because the Meeting Just Appeared in Our Calendar One Day

Last week, the one iPhone shared by the entire Hard Times staff got a calendar alert, which was weird because we thought we deleted that app. Anyway, we were shocked to see that we had an interview scheduled with the legendary classic rock radio station band, U2. While we’re not sure how this meeting got put in our phone in the first place, we jumped at the chance to speak with rock icons and marketing geniuses, Bono and Pals.

The Hard Times: Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with us. Honestly, we don’t really know how this happened.
Bono: You’re actually not the first interviewer to say that to us. Wink wink. Did you know I pick out which sunglasses to wear to these things weeks in advance?

Did you just say “wink wink?”
Bono: Well you wouldn’t have seen me wink through these glasses, now would you?

Damn. You got us. Well, no one from our team remembers scheduling this. Apparently, it just appeared on our calendar out of nowhere. Do you remember which staff member you spoke to about it?
Adam Clayton: Our manager handles all that.
The Edge: Personally, I’ve been really looking forward to this for a long time.

What? How long has this been planned for? Hey, wait. Is it the same manager responsible for releasing “Songs of Innocence” onto every iTunes user’s device without warning?
Bono: I don’t see how HackWiz696969 is relevant here.

That’s the name of your manager?
The Edge: Don’t you want to ask us about our music or something?

Of course, sure. How do you think, after so many years together, you manage to keep the energy alive when making music?
Bono: H-W says that the best way to keep people paying attention is to force our music onto so many of them that even if it makes most people hate us on a guttural, physiological level, there will still be enough people who can’t avoid it that our numbers will continue to hit our record label’s expectations.