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We Sat Down With A Godsmack Fan Because We Accidentally Wandered Into The ROTC Office

College rules. That’s why people wear shirts that just say COLLEGE on them. You can do whatever you want. For example, instead of using the money my mom sent for a winter jacket, I bought a liquid jacket in the form of a Jagermeister handle. This all seemed like a good idea until we got a little too tipsy on a Friday afternoon and accidentally walked into the ROTC office in the student union while looking for the bathroom.

Here is a chat with the diehard Godsmack fan we found blasting “I Stand Alone” inside.

THE HARD TIMES: Oh, woah, sorry. Thought this was the bathroom.
GODSMACK FAN: No worries! Actually, we have a bathroom here. Why don’t you come on in?

No thanks. Didn’t mean to disturb you.
Woah! What a coincidence. Disturbed is probably my second favorite band of all time, after Godsmack of course. Ok, if you had to choose, which is better: Faceless, or the self-titled album?

I’m gonna be honest, nu-metal isn’t really my fav-
I haven’t seen the Smack live since before COVID. Freakin’ bullcrap. But I have tickets to see them at 102.9 The Hog Fest. Three Days Grace is playing too! Do you want to play Call of Duty?

I’m more of a Stardew Val-
Great, pick up the sticks right there. We’re playing team deathmatch online. Just curious, how are you planning on paying for college?

My mom is helping a bit. And I have some loans. I don’t know the controls for Call of Duty.
You’ll get the hang of it. Just get a killstreak and call in the gunship. What if I told you there was an easy way to pay for college and see the world? And arguably the best part is that literally everyone loves Godsmack too. You’ll hear it in the barracks, during training, in vehicles. It literally never gets old.

I’m planning on just joining my dad’s law firm.
Okay sure, but what if Keith David told you all that stuff, over a Godsmack banger of course.

That would be more compelling, dude has a cool ass voice, but again, I’m all set.
Well if you need any more incentive, you get more free camo than you can possibly imagine. Clothes, backpacks, everything.
Oh, shit. That’s actually tight… damn, sign me up.