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We Need to Talk About How You Enable My Blame-Shifting

Before we talk about this I’m going to need you to sit down. No, don’t sit on that chair. That’s the one I broke because you made me so righteously angry. Are you trying to trigger me with my own past? And stop apologizing! That’s part of why we need to talk, actually. We need to sit down and have a calm, rational conversation about how you continuously and purposefully enable my blame-shifting.

Don’t look at me like that! With your sympathetic eyes and attentive posture. You keep allowing me to abuse you and, frankly, it hurts me when you allow me to do so. Have you even once stopped to think about how that makes me feel? Of course not because you’re an enabler.

Let’s unpack that. You are an enabler, which means you’re getting something out of this too. But what could you possibly want? For me to feel better? No, that’s too simple. You must be playing at something much more sinister.

Remember last week when that asshole from my work took credit for my idea and how I took it out on you at dinner after a few drinks? When I said it was all your fault for not instilling enough confidence in me to speak up, that was clearly me taking out my insecurities on you for no reason other than you allowed me to do so. And how did you respond? By telling me to go fuck myself and finding a better partner? No! You sat there apologizing and told me I could do anything I put my mind to. I don’t need that kind of toxicity in my life! Also, next time we have dinner with your parents, remind me to tell your mom she sucks at raising children.

I just hope we can get through this. It’s going to take a lot of effort on your part to break this unhealthy cycle you’ve gotten us into. I can promise you that I will do my part and continue to place the blame of all my insecurities firmly on your shoulders if you’ll promise to stop your toxic behavior of allowing me to treat you like that.

 
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