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We Asked Jadakiss About His Best Valentine’s Kiss and He Just Tried to Offload Bricks of Cocaine on Us

We all know Valentine’s Day is a holiday created by the greeting card industry to remind single people how unlovable they are. But if we can stop being cynical for 5 minutes let’s use this day as a reminder to do something romantic and special for our partner.

Don’t have any ideas? Well, you’re in luck! We sat down with someone who loves love so much, he put “kiss” in his name! That’s right, The Hard Times sat down with Ruff Ryder Jadakiss.

The Hard Times: Happy V-Day Jadakiss! Do you have a special Valentine this year?

Jadakiss: Yo, thanks for meeting up. So I got four kilos in the whip and depending on how fast you sell those, there’s plenty more where that came from.

Ok, hmm. Ha ha! I don’t think I can help you with that. What are your major Valentine’s turn-offs?

I done sold purp, I done sold white. Runnin’ out of work, that’s that shit I don’t like. And leaving here without that paper, that’s also a major turn off I don’t like and we’re going to have some problems, you feel me?

I had no idea that you were such a jokester! No wonder the ladies swoon around you. But let’s keep this on track. Since you’re the expert on smooching, what’s the most romantic kiss you ever had on Valentine’s Day?

My agent said you wanted to discuss a hookup. Well I’m your hookup for 100% pure white Bolivian.

We meant a romantic hookup! But fine, I’ll take it. My girl wants something from Tiffany’s because I really fucked up on her birthday when I met up with Rihanna to inquire about cake. Here’s my burner number. So what, we split 50/50?

Ain’t no salary cap in the dope game. Ain’t no collective bargaining on cocaine. That coke will get you a long time, but when I let em know the dope is out, it’s like America Online.

Fair enough. I’ll holler.