Reality TV has to be one of the most prominent vices in society today, and many people tend to be fans even if they don’t want to admit it. Whether it’s Survivor, the Real World, or The Amazing Race, we just can’t seem to get enough of these seemingly unscripted programs. “Wahlburgers” followed the Wahlberg family across ten seasons through the trials and tribulations of operating their eponymous burger restaurant in Boston, and if you were a big fan, have we got news for you! While the show unfortunately aired its final episode in the summer of 2019, we may have just found its successor!
Are you ready for this?
Meet 43-year-old Maxwell Wynne, who manages a Five Guys in the Eagle Hill neighborhood of East Boston. Much like the namesake of Wahlburgers, Wynne happens to be a completely unrepentant racist! Looks like A&E is going to have another gem on its hands once this guy is discovered!
Move over, Mark Wahlberg!
That’s right! 24 years ago, Wynne was perusing Carson Beach with his miscreant friends when they cruelly and needlessly assaulted several underserved schoolchildren who just happened to be playing volleyball nearby. Wynne was charged with and pled guilty to two counts of assault and battery and was sentenced to eight months in jail, but only served 45 days due to the racial and ethnic disparities in our country’s criminal justice system. Sounds pretty similar to a certain rapper turned actor turned reality television star, now, doesn’t it?
The similarities don’t end there. In 2018, Wynne feebly and unsuccessfully petitioned the State of Massachusetts for a pardon to his conviction, much like Wahlberg did in 2014. To this day, Wynne keeps the similarities going by also being suspiciously tight-lipped and evasive when his horrifying and despicable past is brought up, and it may be too good to be true, but there are also rumors that Wynne has been overheard by his employees making shocking and laughable remarks about his assumed ability to stop the September 11th attacks from occurring!
Whoa! We’ve surely got a star in the making!
While Wahlberg’s completely unwarranted and undeserved stardom has yet to rub off on Maxwell Wynne, we’re thinking it’s only a matter of time before he’s discovered. While it may or may not happen, one thing’s for certain: we’ll be tuning in if his incredibly dull and monotonous daily life is portrayed on a derivative and uninspired reality show like Wahlburgers. Fingers crossed!