If you’ve even visited your parents on a weekday afternoon or waited in a doctor’s office, chances are you’ve seen A&E’s hit show “Storage Wars”, which chronicled the exploits of professional resellers bidding on the contents of abandoned storage units. And boy, would these folks get heated trying to outbid each other on units of old wrestling action figures.
Though it’s been off the air for a few years, an exciting reboot is taking place at a CubeSmart in San Bernardino. If you hurry you can see local man Josh Humphry fist fight ten other guys for the right to live in an empty 10×10 CubeSmart unit.
“I overheard a hot tip at the Greyhound station about a vacant unit at the CubeSmart next to the Arby’s. I got there as fast as I could because I know that location has no security and you can easily smash off the padlocks with a hammer. But not even two minutes into prying it open with a crowbar, here ten other guys show up each claiming it’s theirs. I’ve been priced out of every apartment within a 100 mile radius, and I’m not giving this up without a fight.”
This isn’t a battle for someone’s junk, but for free housing! And without a mediator, film crew, or any legal standing this is shaping up to be the most exciting storage unit acquisition since that “Storage Wars” episode when David Hester outbid the whole cast on five units in a single sitting. The biggest difference though is the guys Josh is up against are weidling tire irons.
But why the desperation? Apparently the unit was abandoned when its previous owner died and left a twin mattress behind. Hell, even if it’s empty, what could be better for squatting in? Now that’s something you can’t sell on ebay.
“Half of these guys probably don’t even need this storage unit, they’re just looking for another vacation home or something! They can fight over the pod cubes down the road, I already brought rug to put in this one dammit.”
Sure, none of this is sanctioned by the state of California, but then again the state isn’t exactly doing anyone favors in the affordable housing sector which is why Josh is bashing people’s faces in with a brick he found laying around so he doesn’t have to sleep on a bench.
Now that’s entertainment!