How to describe David Lynch? Is he a genius filmmaker? An iconoclastic multimedia artist? The dude who fumbled Isabella Rossellini? Well, I have another question:…
Philly has unfairly been the butt end of a lot of jokes about being full of misanthropic sports gremlins, but if we’re being honest with…
HARTFORD, Conn. – Goodwill shopper Davis Canal suffered minor injuries during an unprovoked attack by a mannequin modeling the once-popular alpha male apparel line Ed…
Hockey, drinking and fighting are as synonymous as weed and the munchies. But don’t take our word for it, just go ask any Canadian why…
So you hit up the Taco Bell Cantina happy hour with some co-workers, slammed spicy margs till last call, were forcibly removed from the premises,…
LANSING, Mich. — Recently married couple Wendy and Patrick Clark are facing a fourth night without any sleep whatsoever after refusing medical assistance despite constant,…
WASHINGTON — Senator Markwayne Mullin of Oklahoma was left in critical condition this morning after being confronted and brutally beaten by Scabby the giant inflatable…
While I am a fan of the growing acceptance of differences that weave the beautiful quilt we call our society, there is one difference that…
BOSTON — Known felon and frequent assaulter Mark Wahlberg officially commemorated the opening of the newest Wahlburgers restaurant by kicking the shit out of some…
PHILADELPHIA — Point Breeze crust punk Jett Cordova is reportedly delighted to riot regardless of whether or not the Eagles win Super Bowl LVII, sources…
The holidays can be hard for even the closest families. Plus, with culture war tearing us apart, it can be difficult to sit down at…
PETALUMA, Calif. — Indie/jangle pop band Diet Water vowed that they will never play a show in Israel out of support of Palestine, though peers…
LAS VEGAS — Local couple Riley Flores and Sarah Murkowski are under the false impression that their constant arguing is a fun quirk of their…
PHOENIX — Local musician and currently band-less drummer Elle Jade’s hopes of joining a new group were promptly crushed after reaching the “no drama” stipulation…
Well, here we are, the McDonald’s near the park with all the ducks. No dried smears of ketchup on every other table, no divorced dads…