Ok, I admit it. I never assumed anyone would actually take me up on my Facebook post encouraging friends to message me if they were struggling with anything. Why did I do it, then? To paraphrase one of my favorite lyricists, “I did it all for the likes (come on!). The likes (come on!).”
I mean, I’d help if I could but I have no training or expertise. How much help could I possibly be? And as my favorite lyricist would put it, “So you can take your mental health concerns and stick them up your (yeah!). Stick them up your (yeah!).”
Anyway, last night I posted this: “Mental health is difficult for a lot of people, and if the stigma around it is ever going to go away we need to start talking about it. If you’re struggling and having dark thoughts just know that I’m here to talk at any time. You’re not alone!”
I knew it would rack up a cubic shit-ton of likes and heart reacts. And it did. Oh boy, it did. That sweet, sweet dopamine rush is no joke. But never in a million years did I think anyone would actually take me up on it. So I’m sorry, Steve, but I don’t think I can help you.
I’m probably one of the least-qualified people on planet Earth to give advice related to mental health. My extent of training is simply being on the receiving end of therapy for the past 6 years. And while everyone on the internet seems to think that is sufficient experience to give others unwarranted, misguided advice, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you.
Hell, I don’t even have a good therapist. Last session, she gave me a list of nearby happy hours when I complained about how much I was spending on alcohol.
When you first messaged me I started thinking about what my therapist would say. “Well why don’t we look at it from another perspective?” So that’s why I sent you a link to my band’s new EP, “Another Perspective.” I admit that this may have caused you to feel as though I was making your situation all about me and that’s not right. Trust me, I’ve been there. I even wrote a song about it. It’s track four. Listen again but this time pull up the lyrics so you don’t miss anything.
You know what, though? Some of this is on you, Steve. I haven’t seen you since sophomore year of college. Am I really your best option? I find that hard to believe. I think it’s assumed that in the unlikely event someone took me up on my offer, it should at least be one of my four closest friends.
I learned a lot from this mistake and that’s all I can really do. Next time I want to post something I’m not truly invested in for the sake of getting fake internet points, I’ll stick to vaguely supporting civil rights.