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RIP Lars Ulrich: We Really Didn’t Know You Had a Peanut Allergy, and That’s Our Bad

Wow. Shit just keeps getting worse.

Last night, at an undisclosed hospital, Lars Ulrich passed away at the age of 55, and that’s totally our bad. We had no idea he was allergic to peanuts, and we really wish he would have said something.

We caught up with the multi-talented drummer Lars Ulrich for dinner, without even the slightest hint that it would be perhaps the last time he ever talked to a reporter. We feel humbled and honored to be his last interview, and also devastated that we were directly responsible for that fact.

Ulrich leaves behind a worldwide network of family and friends he met on the road. And to them we say, again, we can’t state how bad we feel about all this. Like, it totally blows, OK?

Ulrich’s drumming influenced generations of musicians, including some on our staff. He was a kind, gifted man, and the fact that we fed him a peanut-infused sauce that’s taste hid it’s extremely high concentration of peanut oil, paste, and butter honestly like, just fucks us up.

We feel horrible. 100% our bad, dude.

We didn’t know he had a peanut allergy, and if we did, we wouldn’t have even made him that food. Or any food. We swear. You have to believe us. We were not in any way looking to do this on purpose, and the fact that (OK fine, I’ll say it) we killed Lars Ulrich is not something that we are in any way proud of.

We intend to look at our editorial process and figure out how this happened in the first place. But we know that it’s not enough, so the writer who held the dinner interview has had his gun taken away and put on administrative leave.

But for now, we need to ask everyone to stay calm. We’ve been through this before, and we have a process in place to handle it.

So, just comment below if you think it should have been Lars.