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OPINION: You’re Not My Dad

Dude, don’t even try me today. I’m sick of it, and I’m going to tell you this again because you don’t seem to be getting it.

You’re not my dad.

No, no, SHUT UP! You’re not my dad and you never will be! I’ll listen to whatever music I want and stay up as late as I want, because you’re not the boss of me. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

You think just because you’re banging my mom you can tell me what to do? HA! Fat chance, buddy. Get out of my face.

We shouldn’t even being having this conversation again. Yet, here we are. The fact is that you can’t tell me what to do. No, no I won’t. Fuck you. You’re not my dad and if I want to eat pizza rolls and play Grand Theft Auto Vice City then THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

Related: Oh No! Mom’s New Boyfriend Is Tony From Victory Records!

I’m going to do what I want, whenever I want, regardless of what you say, because I know the truth.

What truth? Are you fucking kidding me, Leon? The truth that you’re not my fucking dad!

Mom might think you mean well, but guess what, asshole? You’re never going to be a part of this family. Not on my watch. My real dad lives in New Mexico and when I go visit him this summer he’s going to teach me how to ride a motorcycle. Yeah, that’s right, Leon. A motorcycle. FUCK YOU I’M ONLY 14, MY DAD SAYS IT’S COOL. If my dad says it’s cool, then it’s cool. You know how I know that? Because he’s my dad and news flash, Leon:


Is your real dad going to to teach you how to ride a motorcycle this summer? Let us know in the comments below.