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Opinion: Why Isn’t the Mainstream Media Covering This Story I Just Read on CNN?

If we’ve learned anything from the LAMEstream media it’s that they only cover news that fits their incredibly ambiguous narrative. I literally had to go all the way to CNN dot com to find a story about human trafficking. Sure, it was also covered on CBS, NBC, ABC, New York Times, USA Today, Yahoo!, and almost kind of on Fox News, but not nearly long enough for my completely arbitrary standards.

Of course, I smashed that share button on the CNN article to let the Facebook world know that the mainstream media doesn’t want you to learn about rampant pedophilia perpetrated by Tom Hanks. It doesn’t matter that Mr. Hanks wasn’t specifically mentioned in the article. Sometimes you have to read between the lines and further educate yourself by watching YouTube videos from largely anonymous sources as I do.

A handful of the comments on my shared article seemed to insinuate that I was more outraged by the so-called coverage than at the actual despicable event itself and to that, I say, “you’re damn right.” The only thing eviler than human trafficking is Wolf Blitzer and his Illuminati masters over at CNN. Wake up, sheeple.

I simply refuse to sit back while this story doesn’t get the exact amount of attention that I deem fit for public discourse. There just aren’t enough people like me who outwardly talk about pedophilia daily as a performative gesture to show that I am definitely, without a doubt, not a pedophile myself, as long as you disregard those recent allegations against me. She was basically 18, for chrissakes!

Another thing about the liberal media is that they only cover news that doesn’t affect me personally, like coronavirus or police brutality. I can’t believe I have to actively search out news and opinions that justify my, what my family at Thanksgiving has repeatedly called, “incredibly narrow views of the world.”

 

That is why I generally stick to getting all my news from only the most trusted memes.

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