Dear America. I know that this country is supposed to be a melting pot where different nationalities and cultures can coexist as one. But sometimes I come across some people that give me strange feelings, which is obviously their fault! Drag Queens in particular make me feel weird and for that they need to go back to where they came from! We need to keep drag queens out of my country and out of my dreams!
I don’t care what the woke liberal media tries to convince you! I’m sick and tired of seeing all these drag queens in areas I’m actively seeking them out! All these drag queens with their sinful behavior and perfect asses go against the ways of our lord and savior Jesus Christ!
But I’m not going to fall for their devious ways. I have God and my wife who’s name escapes me at the moment on my side! Every night I have my wife pray for me while I relentlessly search every episode of Ru Paul’s Drag Race for demonic messages! If it wasn’t for the power of prayer I don’t know if I could ever escape from Ru Paul’s dreamlike gaze and flirtatious laugh. I would probably sashay away straight to hell!
But I must remember that behind all those pouting lips and tantalizing hips are lost sheep who have lost their way. So I must do what any good Christian would do and force my religion down their throats… Right past those soft, tantalizing, beautiful lips of theirs! So three times a week I go down to Hamburger Mary’s in West Hollywood and put Christian pamphlets in the bra strap, thong, or brassiere of every drag queen performing that night. You gotta get it deep in there otherwise, they may never know what the love of Christ feels like.
I pray that I am able to reach as many drag queens as I can with my personal favorite bible verse Ezekiel 23:20. “There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.” Amen.