A lot of thought goes into picking the perfect band name. But many bands don’t consider how the resulting name’s acronym will reflect upon them throughout their careers. We decided to rank the worst band acronyms ever in the hopes that you and your band don’t meet a similar fate.
20. Saves the Day – Great, now I’m reminded that I’m out of herpes cream every time a banger from “Through Being Cool” comes up on shuffle.
19. Jimmy Eat World – There’s nothing wrong with being a Jew. But the all-caps nature of acronyms makes this feel aggressive. You’d never ask a friend “Did you see JEW last night?” unless you want to enter a “Who’s on First?”-style conversation about Matisyahu.
18. Foster the People – More like File Transfer Protocol, am I right???
17. Banner Pilot – I’m so sick of oil industry shills invading punk rock.
16. Saxon Shore – Yikes!
15. Black Sabbath – I got some B.S for ya, everything Sabbath put out with Dio. Burn!
14. Prophets of Other Planets – So no band actually has this name, but if they DID, it would be “poop.” Can you imagine?! Ridiculous.
13. Wu-Tang Clan – Every time I enter the 36 chambers, I remember the way our country changed on that fateful day when the World Trade Center fell. Never forget.
12. Phantom Planet – LOLOLOL PEE PEE! WHAT ARE YOU, 9? Grow up.
11. Taking Back Sunday – If you love basic cable so much, why don’t you just release an album of 90% Family Guy dialogue? Conan is still awesome though.
10. Code Orange Kids – I know they dropped the “Kids” years ago, but “COK” is almost “COCK” so please just let this be a gimmie, I need 20 of these and topped out at 17.
9. The Menzingers – It’s not very punk rock of you to trademark your own acronym.
8. The American Dollar – Have you ever met a Tad? Every single Tad I’ve ever met in my life did a bunch of blow in college and went down on my girlfriend when I was sick with the swine flu.
7. Veil of Maya – I’m going to VOM my lunch up if you keep churning out generic metalcore like it’s 2008.
6. The Promise Ring – Truly sad to be chasing clout by acting like you were on the Tonyhawk’s PRoskater soundtrack.
5. Built to Spill – Accidentally found this band while trying to get my K-pop fix, and now I need a therapist.
4. Black Mountain – Seriously, “Bowel Movement?” No one caught this? Their derivative brand of ripping off Black Sabbath hasn’t inspired me to have a bowel movement since 2008’s “In the Future.” That album rips though.
3. Escape the Fate – I just checked, and this ETF is down 22% on the NASDAQ.
2. Operation Ivy – False advertising alert! Write an Oi song, you bastards.
1. Corrosion of Conformity – Wait, maybe this one is closer to “cock” than Code Orange Kids.
Wow, we made it! Check-in next week for “Top 200 Album Covers With Phallic Imagery If You Kinda Squint and Turn Your Head to the Side.” unless I can find another job before the deadline.