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I’m an Old Soul, in That I’m Very Racist

I’m an old soul. I’ve known since I was very young that I was born in the wrong decade. Partially because my essence embodies the authentic spirit of the human experience from simpler times, but mostly because I’m very, very racist. Just like the people who lived in those times.

I was born in the wrong decade. I’m not into the popular culture and entertainment of today. Most people my age are into whatever YouTuber is popular this week or whatever hashtag is trending. I’ve always been fond of REAL literature from the past, it just speaks to me. Specifically, literature from before 1865.

I’ve always felt a sense of strong maturity throughout my young life. People my age are so obsessed with celebrity couples like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. But as an old soul I’m far more concerned with the fact that people of different races are allowed to marry.

Related: America’s Oldest Man Shares His Tips for a Long Life and Somehow They’re All Super Racist


I find people my age to be quite boring; they’re always tweeting about social issues. I embody the spirit of the past. I’m actually at protests, standing on the front lines, making absolutely sure those confederate statues don’t come down.

No one my age understands me, they communicate in emojis and hashtags. That’s so impersonal. I wish we were back in a time when people actually SPOKE face to face when they hurled racial slurs at those with inferior genes. That said, YouTube commenters at least have their hearts in the right place.

I’m even wiser than my parents. They’re always asking me questions like, “how did this happen?” or, “didn’t we raise you better than this?” But when I tactfully explain the differences in skeletal structure between different races they just cry a lot. Sad.

Screw this, I’m going to spend the afternoon with my great grandmother.

Article by Hard Style Staff

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