Press "Enter" to skip to content

If You’re Having Girl Problems, I Feel Bad For You Son. You’ll Feel Better If You Talk About Them—Let’s Go Get Some Ice Cream On Me and Chat, Bud

Hey man, you ok? You’ve been looking a little down lately. From 93 til infinity, we’ve always been honest with each other. Are things going well in your relationship?

If you’re having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son. That can be really tough— you’ll feel a lot better if you get those feelings out and talk about them. Want to go get some ice cream and chat bud? I’m paying. I know a good place right around the corner just past the crossroads. They have 99 flavors but a peach ain’t one, sadly.

Sometimes in relationships, negative things build up inside. And before you know it, the temperature’s rising. So you have to sit down and get to the heart of the matter before your girl comes at you with the ol’ “Don’t push me because I’m close to the edge,” (emotionally speaking).

Is it money problems? You know, the more money we come across, the more problems we see. Financial strain in relationships is very real. Maybe you could work together to set expectations? Budgeting ain’t nuthing ta f’ wit!

Or are the problems more bedroom-related? You need to exercise and eat healthy to maintain that O.P.P. (optimal penis performance). Sex is a very important part of relationships; you got what your partner needs. Without it, she’ll say you’re just a friend. So it’s time to have those tough conversations and get both of your desires out in the air. If you don’t know, now you know, brother. Ask her what she wants.

The only way you can fail is by inaction. You have to fight for your right to a girlfriend; otherwise you’ll have to move back into your parents’ basement and eat mom’s spaghetti. Nobody wants that. Time to get ready for the next episode. Hey hey hey heyyy- gratitude journal every day!

So what are you gonna order? French vanilla, butter pecan, chocolate deluxe. Even caramel sundaes is getting touched, so hurry up and pick. My cone is melting.