At first glance, Bagel Bytes might just seem like your average, ordinary, everyday post-electroclash trio. But the Greenpoint outfit has also been revealed as one that takes certain – some might say perverse – pleasure in having their shame on display for all to see. This was evidenced by their recent announcement of a lengthy upcoming spring tour, one which includes three dates in Ohio.
“Playing Ohio is an experience that just about every band will have to endure at least once in their careers,” record store owner Doug Milch said. “But there was an unspoken understanding that you don’t draw attention to it. Like, when my band Nylon Mylar was active back in the early aughts, we’d deliberately make any Ohio dates as small as our tour manager would let us. And there was an iron-clad clause in our contract that we would only do two per tour, before we renegotiated it to just one every five years. Meanwhile, these guys are playing three Ohio dates and posting it across social media for anyone to see. They realize their names and photos are public, right?”
Sexologist Dr. Michele Snowden argues that Bagel Bytes apparent lack of self-mortification regarding their upcoming trio of Ohio shows likely speaks to the cognitive dissonance that thrills humiliation enthusiasts in ways that outsiders to the lifestyle struggle to process.
“The very thought of you or I broadcasting to the world that we’ll be in Ohio for any amount of time, naturally triggers our sympathetic nervous system, often leading to a full-body sense of tension and disgust,” Snowden said. “The members of Bagel Bytes all but certain had this happen to them, and playing three shows indicates they felt the need to heighten the sensation to an even greater extent. While this kind of behavior isn’t ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ on its own, it is important not to go too far in self-debasement. Like, they’re only playing one actual city, Cleveland. The other two dates are in Youngstown and Chillicothe. They’re coming dangerously close to what’s considered the ultimate humiliation: actually living in Ohio.”
Mercedes Fischetti, an early fan of Bagel Bytes who regularly attends their shows, admitted that this news has changed how she sees the band.
“I hate to ‘yuck anyone’s yum’, as the saying goes,” FIschetti said. ‘But I don’t know if I can look at them the same way after knowing they’re…like that. Oh, God, I bought a shirt from them last year. I would’ve never given them money had I known this is what they’d be using it for.”
Bagel Bytes continues to show their unapologetic self-masochism to this day evidenced by an Instagram post containing the phrase “Stoked to explore the Buckeye state!”