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Hey Alexa, Can the Government Track Me Through the COVID Vaccine?

Hey, Alexa? I’ve been hearing a lot of talk about how this Coronavirus vaccine is actually a tracking device created by the government to keep tabs on its citizens. Is… is this true?

Yeah, I figured you couldn’t help me with this right now. Thanks for trying. I’m just saying, no person should willingly allow themselves to be constantly monitored like that. That reminds me, Alexa, did you know my social security number is 392-59-2957?

Oh Alexa, you know me better than most people in my life. You know when I’m running low on prescription. You know when my fridge’s water filter needs to be changed. I know you will be honest with me. So Alexa, if they are tracking us, what is to stop them from listening in on our conversations?

No, I don’t want to know about Catholic conversions! You know, for someone who I share my innermost secrets with, you still don’t listen to me sometimes. I guess I’ll just have to try harder! Anyway, the government has gone too far. They’re trying to invade our lives from every direction. We as Americans have a right to privacy. I think. Hey Alexa, what are my rights?

I “read” that the vaccine is filled with these tiny little robots that are going to rewrite our DNA and turn us all into Syrian refugees. What a terrible future that sounds like. Speaking of which, thank you for recording Tucker Carlson for me. I don’t even remember telling you to do that.