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Fuck! I Sent Postcards Encouraging People to Vote and All of Them Voted for Howie Mandel

There is power in sending out postcards to encourage people to vote. They say in 2020 the number of postcards sent out in some swing states significantly affected the election. Considering the incredibly close race that the media wants us to believe, I decided to do my part and turn my election postcard writing into a passion. I spent months drafting encouraging words to go out and vote, as well as hosting multiple postcard-writing parties that had a ton of energy and contribution. In all, I am proud to say that I wrote a grand total of 1,973 postcards!

So it came as a massive shock to me and the rest of the world that those postcard recipients all voted for comedian and TV personality Howie Mandel.

As I watched the election results roll in, a significant number of people from Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Georgia wrote in Mandel. 1,973 people to be exact! I was appalled. CNN anchors couldn’t explain how this occurred. Jesse Waters couldn’t stop laughing and quoted “Bobby’s World” for way longer than anyone cared for.

I’m not sure how this could have happened. In none of my postcards did I ever say anything about Howie Mandel. I obviously talked about the main candidates and the most pressing issues facing our country. There was one night when I wrote 476 postcards that said “Voting is as easy as hitting a buzzer. You might be the deciding factor. Go fill out your ‘Golden Ballot’” and another night where I said “Vote Harris. I promise she’s not bullshitting you like Trump.” Maybe there was some subliminal messaging when I told people “America’s got talent, and Trump is trying to stifle it.” Anyway, I think I got my point across.

I just hope my efforts don’t swing the election.

Reflecting, I should have known better about the national electorate and their affinity towards mid-2000s game show hosts. I don’t think that people realize that Howie isn’t even American. I guess I did see a shirt the other day saying “If a felon can run for president, so can a Canadian.” Ugh, maybe I should have just been more blunt and just put down things like “Kamala = Deal, Donald = No Deal.”