It’s time we start to take better care of ourselves. We walk around with tense muscles that affect our blood circulation, stress, and proper posture. Many of us are still recovering from injuries and genetic issues that require physical therapy, but these ailments go untreated for years. These problems don’t have to be ignored if you look in the right places.
Thankfully we are finally able to bring you a solution. Craigslist still offers plenty of great deals. You have photographers offering free photo shoots to aspiring nude models, fancy high rise apartments sold cheap for people willing to send over their social security numbers, and to many people’s surprise, free physical therapy as well.
This altruistic man doesn’t seem to have a name, just a cryptic email address, and a poorly lit selfie where his face is obscured by Oakley sunglasses and a poorly maintained goatee. Not only is he providing free massages, but the description states that he is looking to test out new techniques to anyone who is open-minded! This is clearly an expert who knows more than the average masseuse! He also appears to be a teacher as well because he said he will be streaming the session online as well. Where was this guy after we drove our car into Lubbock Pond and fucked up our back?
The average going rate for a massage is about $90, and that doesn’t include a tip. This man is saving you a hundred dollars per visit! You still should tip him regardless as he is such a good samaritan for helping people in pain find relief. He clearly also needs the money because he has to perform the services from his studio apartment. But that’s what happens when you put volunteering over profits. As a society we could do so much better, this is a man who should not live in squalor, but should be able to provide his massages comfortably from his beachside home.
We can almost guarantee that the shadowy forces behind “Big Massage” are going to try to shut this man down. We recommend everyone act fast and receive a free massage while they still can. Act now by messaging anything labeled “—★FReE M@sSAGes★–” on your local Craigslist website.
Are these kinds of services also on Facebook Marketplace? Who knows, only weirdos go on that crap of a website now.