You don’t need a degree in clinical psychology to diagnose someone. How do I know this? I’ve been diagnosing my friends, family members, and potential lovers with mental disorders for years while refusing to address my own emotional state – and that’s what we call selflessness.
As luck would have it, this is the sixth emotionally avoidant man I’ve dated in less than three months. The second I try to establish any kind of intimacy with someone by suggesting a weekly date night or reminding them that my biological clock is ticking and I only have about 20,000 fertile eggs left, they start to pull away. You can’t take it personally, though.
Avoidant people are hard-wired to shun emotional closeness and dismiss the importance of intimate relationships due to early childhood neglect or trauma. The point I’m trying to make is that when a man blocks your phone number, it means he’s starting to like you so much that it scares him, which is why I was ecstatic to find out I’ve been blocked by my most recent date on at least three different modes of communication.
The avoidant attachment in your life might say things like, “I need some space right now,” “I genuinely don’t feel a connection with you,” or “Please, leave me alone, I’m married,” but these are all indicators that he is falling for you HARD and secretly wants to be pursued. For people with a firm grasp on reality and a secure attachment style, like myself, this seemingly never-ending game of cat and mouse can be exhausting, but true love is worth it in the end.
Relationships require hard work and persistence, which is the message of one of my favorite romantic comedies, “Fatal Attraction.” If you haven’t seen it, it’s about a no-nonsense woman who goes above and beyond to court a man she meets at a work function. She pursues this whirlwind romance even when he’s being a little bitch and all the cards are stacked against them. I forget how it ends, but I think it’s one of those sappy happily-ever-after movies.
As for my own “happily ever after,” I’m not sure what Cupid has in store for me and my latest suitor, but the fact he even blocked me on Venmo makes me think he might be “the one.”