UGH, constituents, am I right? Constantly asking you to do things like legislate on their behalf and act in their best interest. Don’t they get that you just want to spend your time chilling and having conversations with your friends?
Your time is your own. Just because you’re a public servant doesn’t mean you should have to waste it performing your elected duties. As such, here are 5 great podcast ideas for senators who just don’t feel like, you know, senating.
Movies
Doesn’t talking about the newest Marvel movie sound so much better than being there for your state’s citizens during a life-threatening power outage? Honestly, who gives a shit? It’ll probably come back on at some point, and it’s not like you’re an electrical engineer. Brush up on rudimentary movie analysis (or don’t, it truly doesn’t matter) and get ready to discuss how good you think Mark Wahlberg was in “Flight Risk”.
Grievance Politics
This definitely seems like the most viable option here. A podcast dedicated to complaining about Critical Race Theory or some high school trans volleyball player in Kansas sure beats the shit out of proposing legislation to help the people who cast a vote for you, so get out of the Capitol and into a comfy chair, and start recording. Your loyal followers aren’t going to get inordinately angry about inane things for no fucking reason on their own!
True Crime
This topic will always be all the rage, so you’ll definitely have an eager audience. And anyway, doesn’t it sound so much more interesting than serving on the Senate Appropriations Committee? Almost certainly, so hook up your mic and talk about the Zodiac Killer for a few hours. Your pals up in Congress likely won’t even notice you’re gone.
Food
Cooking food, eating food, exploring food’s history, it doesn’t really matter. So long as it doesn’t involve working as a Senator, feel free to hit this from whichever angle you prefer. Just make sure to get going as soon as possible. Your colleagues are going to begin the boring-ass confirmation process for some presidential judicial nominees soon, and you need an excuse to miss it.
Christianity
Fuck yeah, your voters love this shit. You’ve been espousing religious bullshit ever since you got into politics, and for whatever reason they haven’t caught on that you think it’s a bunch of beans. It’s largely the reason you got into office in the first place. Weirdly, doing this is probably better for your career than actually doing your career, so get started!