We had the opportunity to talk with Mastodon and get the nitty-gritty of what they had to deal with getting up during the Pleistocene Epoch.…
IMPERIAL BEACH, Calif. — A punk shark known to terrorize beachgoers attacked a scuba diver by ripping the sleeves off his wetsuit earlier today, Coast…
MONTREAL — PornHub I.T. guy Dewey Palmer helped a fellow employee troubleshoot their malfunctioning computer this morning by suggesting they “jack the computer off, then…
BROOKLYN — Quarantined punk Lex Sykes took to his own bathroom last week to practice his vandalism skills due to the ongoing closures of bars…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — The only working toilet in local punk house The Mooseknuckle is simply a litter box following a breakdown in plumbing weeks ago,…
SAN DIEGO — Junior designer Lewis Cooper allegedly accidentally contaminated his entire office with the deadly coronavirus yesterday, thanks to his fear of calling in…
Here I am at the local Burger Blaster minding my own business when this guy takes his Portable Porno Player out! I’m thinking like, my…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — The resale price of a rare Princess Diana Beanie Baby rose exponentially last week after local collector and drug dealer Blake Kaiser…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Democratic Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders would not stop yelling at sound guy Ethan Gardner about “Medicare for All” during a campaign rally…
Jordan Peele’s highly anticipated sophomore horror spectacle, ‘Us’ hit the silver screen this past week featuring themes of duality, systematic oppression, and freaking sick Black…
LOS ANGELES — A fully naked Morrissey surprised fans this morning by cancelling an impromptu shower singing session due to inclement water temperature in a…