Tyler Roland, Author at HARDTIMES

December 1, 2025

BORING, Ore. — Local band Lifetime Original Bitch is just one chart-topping song away from becoming a one-hit wonder, sources…

September 5, 2025

TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES, N.M. — Local psychedelic rock band P_Floyd8732486 revealed that they arrived at their unusual name after discovering…

July 1, 2025

Meet 56-year-old Don Harlow of Milford, Connecticut. In the wake of his divorce, Harlow has found solace in dating 20-year-old…

June 22, 2025

Hey, kid. I may not be a household name, but back in the day, I was one of the in-demand…

April 29, 2025

LOS ANGELES — Progressive metal band Tool recently announced the “Lateralus Gold” experience, which involves fans paying $10,000 to massage…

March 26, 2025

MANZANITA, Ore. — Local couple Jon and Kelsey Hangman recently became the parents of a child who somehow was born…

February 18, 2025

JEROME, Ariz. — Jehovah’s Witness Leonard Standish and Tool fan Don Schmidt spent all night spreading the gospel of their…

February 13, 2025

FORT WORTH, Texas — Local metal frontman Frank Fortibus inadvertently let out the best scream of his entire career during…

January 16, 2025

Well, it’s a week into 2025, and let’s just cut the bullshit right here, right now. Fuck it, 2026 will…

December 3, 2024

BURLINGTON, Vt. — Friends and family of recently deceased Edwin Peters decided to go the extra mile for his funeral…