ONTARIO, Canada — Canadian rock musician Bryan Adams re-recorded his hit song “Summer of ‘69” as “Summer of ‘67” in…
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BORING, Ore. — Local band Lifetime Original Bitch is just one chart-topping song away from becoming a one-hit wonder, sources…
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TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES, N.M. — Local psychedelic rock band P_Floyd8732486 revealed that they arrived at their unusual name after discovering…
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Meet 56-year-old Don Harlow of Milford, Connecticut. In the wake of his divorce, Harlow has found solace in dating 20-year-old…
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Hey, kid. I may not be a household name, but back in the day, I was one of the in-demand…
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LOS ANGELES — Progressive metal band Tool recently announced the “Lateralus Gold” experience, which involves fans paying $10,000 to massage…
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MANZANITA, Ore. — Local couple Jon and Kelsey Hangman recently became the parents of a child who somehow was born…
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JEROME, Ariz. — Jehovah’s Witness Leonard Standish and Tool fan Don Schmidt spent all night spreading the gospel of their…
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FORT WORTH, Texas — Local metal frontman Frank Fortibus inadvertently let out the best scream of his entire career during…
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Well, it’s a week into 2025, and let’s just cut the bullshit right here, right now. Fuck it, 2026 will…
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