Metalhead on Camping Trip Regrets Bringing Viking Sword to Chop Wood
CARVER, Mass. — Local metalhead Tyler Kearns admitted that the replica Viking sword he brought on his camping trip might…
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The Hard Times Staff — Page 28
936 stories found
Meaning Behind New Tattoo Revealed to Be Decent Tax Return
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local tattoo enthusiast Ben Drury admitted that the meaning behind a large tattoo of a viking skeleton…
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Show Promoter Captions Picture of Himself Stealing Money from Band with “I Miss This”
ALBANY, N.Y. — Local show promoter Steve “Froggy” Fordham recently posted a photo to Instagram that showed him pocketing cash…
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Review: Nirvana “Nevermind”
Each Sunday, The Hard Times travels back and reviews a notable album from the past. This week we cover the…
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Man Becomes Anti-Vaxxer in Order to Avoid Having to Attend Social Gatherings Again
QUINCY, Mass. — Local man and self-described introvert Blake Crowley became an adamant anti-vaccine activist in a desperate attempt to…
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Acoustic Performer at Vaccination Site Considered Worse than Outbreak
LOS ANGELES — Acoustic guitarist Harry “Wild Child” Kearns caused a mass evacuation from a local vaccine site with his…
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Police Union Captain Collectively Bargains for 45 More Unpunished Murders Per Year
CHICAGO — The embattled President of Fraternal Order of Police Lodge 7, John Cattanzara, sought to negotiate for police officers…
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Marjorie Taylor Greene Breaks Fundraising Record After Posting Video of Herself Eating Medical Waste and Shitting on Photo of the Clintons
WASHINGTON — Far-right conspiracy theorist and representative for Georgia’s 14th congressional district, Marjorie Taylor Greene, exceeded previous fundraising efforts after…
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Cop Accidentally Shoots Self in Mouth After Mistaking Gun for Soup Spoon
MIAMI — Local police officer Arnold Griffin, a 19-year veteran of the force, was cut down in the line of…
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