Rob Steinberg, Author at HARDTIMES

The 5 Wackiest Amazon Products You Could Buy If You Weren’t Working for Slave Wages in Their Warehouse

September 7, 2018

If there's one thing Amazon excels at more than exploiting the toils of a burgeoning slave class, it’s camp. Need…

Did The Simpsons Predict My Life Would Stop Being Enjoyable After Twelve Years?

August 1, 2018

The Simpsons have predicted everything.They predicted President Trump, Disney purchasing Fox, NSA spying, grease thieving, three eyed fish mutations, and…

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I’m the Wizard Airbrushed on the Side of a Van. Free Me From This Prison Bestowed

June 19, 2018

I’ve been doomed upon this fate for many of years. Sure, I may look powerful with my crystal ball and…

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Marvel Reveals Thanos Erased ISIS and It Will Return if Universe is Restored

June 19, 2018

LOS ANGELES — Joe and Anthony Russo revealed today that, not only is it canon in the Marvel Cinematic Universe…

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Aspiring Stock Photo Model Gets Shutterstock Watermark Tattooed on Her Face

June 1, 2018

SEATTLE — Prospective model Magda “Mimi” Maiers had the Shutterstock watermark tattooed directly onto her forehead last week in the…

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Aging Anime Fan Needs Viagra to Maintain Nosebleeds

April 13, 2018

BERKELEY, Calif. — Middle-aged anime fan Nick Klempf has accepted that at this point in his life, he no longer…

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Uninspired Rule 34 Artist Just Going Through Motions of Drawing Sonic Eating Out Tails

April 1, 2018

ALBANY, N.Y. — Revered Rule 34 artist Sophia Zinn is no longer feeling inspired by her various drawings of Sonic…

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Bad Trip: Somehow Vice Knows I Just Took Acid And Won’t Stop Asking Me to Write About It

March 7, 2018

It was earlier this month when I decided we would spend the day tripping. Nothing special, just my friends and…

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If Team Fluff Doesn’t Win the Puppy Bowl They’re Gonna Break My Kneecaps

February 4, 2018

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. OK, so I threw down 25 Gs on the puppy bowl. I did that. And I…

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demon, metal, album, cover art, body image issues

Metal Album Art Gives Demons Unrealistic Body Expectations

February 2, 2018

CITY OF DIS, Hell — 78 percent of demons across the Netherworld experienced feelings of low self-esteem and body issues…

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