We Need to Fix the Lead Pipes in Poor Neighborhoods so That It’s Safe When We Gentrify It
Did you know that most poor neighborhoods have a lead amount of 15 ppb? I don’t know what that means…
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Rob Steinberg — Page 7
83 stories found
Here’s How Long You Should Pretend to Be Interested at a Farmer’s Market When You Just Want Free Samples
We get it, you were just passing through and saw enough free samples to fashion together a full meal. You…
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Vegan Pagan Prepares Sacrificial Tofu
AURORA, Ill. — Local vegan pagan Lisa Wayne drew criticism yesterday for preparing a block of tofu as her sacrificial,…
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New Drummer Not Given Name So Band Doesn’t Get Too Attached
CINCINNATI — Local band Circus Warfare last week took in their fourth new drummer within the past year, but have…
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We Talked to Goth Legend Mark From Home Improvement
Back in the 90’s Mark Taylor was king of Detroit’s suburban goth scene. His show, Home Improvement, was a staple…
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Opinion: If the Founding Fathers Were Alive Today They Would Be Juggalos
As Americans, we hold the constitution sacred. However, America has changed so much since the constitution was written. Technological advancements…
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We Asked These Rockabilly Fans What’s Their Favorite Decade
Rockabilly is one of the oldest variants of rock and roll. It may have peaked in popularity during the 1950s,…
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White Male Bids Farewell to Target Demographic Lifestyle on 36th Birthday
AURORA, Ill. — Soon-to-be 36-year-old white man James Brady is spending his last days in the 18-to-35 consumer demographic saying…
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The 5 Wackiest Amazon Products You Could Buy If You Weren’t Working for Slave Wages in Their Warehouse
If there's one thing Amazon excels at more than exploiting the toils of a burgeoning slave class, it’s camp. Need…
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Did The Simpsons Predict My Life Would Stop Being Enjoyable After Twelve Years?
The Simpsons have predicted everything.They predicted President Trump, Disney purchasing Fox, NSA spying, grease thieving, three eyed fish mutations, and…
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