Rick Homuth, Author at HARDTIMES

St. Peter Guides Anthony Bourdain Through Gritty Part of Heaven With All the Food Trucks

June 8, 2018

HEAVEN — St. Peter spent the afternoon guiding Anthony Bourdain through the rough-and-tumble part of Heaven where the best food…

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Out-of-Town Friend Won’t Stop Talking About How the Tap Water Tastes

May 10, 2018

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Mourner Bryan Powell was reportedly infatuated last week with how different the tap water in Nashville tasted…

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Losing Job Just the Sort of Push Woman Needed to Start Cassette Label

May 4, 2018

HAMMOND, Ind. — Noise musician Elaine McCulloch’s recent unemployment following her ungraceful exit from a line cook position at a…

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‘Let’s Jump Right Into It,’ Says YouTuber Eight Minutes Into Tutorial

April 28, 2018

GLENCOE, Ill. — Seventeen-year-old Twitch streamer and occasional “YouTube Tutorialist” Tucker Ferguson announced to viewers his intention to “jump right…

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Hundreds of Door Guys Protest as More Venues Announce Intentions to Automate by 2020

March 22, 2018

WASHINGTON — Nearly 500 door guys turned out for a demonstration Saturday afternoon protesting various venues planning to automate their…

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BREAKING: Shaun White Exchanges All Three Olympic Gold Medals for Single Mountain Dew Dewd-of-the-Year Trophy

February 14, 2018

PYEONGCHANG, South Korea — U.S. snowboarder Shaun White exchanged all three of his gold medals this morning for the prestigious…

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Russian Twitter Bot Trying to Parlay 500,000 Followers into Comedy Career

January 31, 2018

VLADIVOSTOK, Russia — @DNCSorosTracker, one of the more successful Russian Twitter bots created to influence American elections, announced plans today…

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